I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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