I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
