I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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