just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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