Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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