the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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