But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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