I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
