i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
