I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
