I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
