I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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