he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
