oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
