You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
