i was rollin on her like bob the builder
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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