Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
