My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize