Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
