When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How does one acquire holy water?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
