They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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