I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
