I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
