Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
