Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
