this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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