My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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