what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
