we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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