Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
