so let's talk penis.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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