so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
