you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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