But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize