how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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