Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
