We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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