The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
