she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
