I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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