idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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