So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my shit smells like andre
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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