Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
