its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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