i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it was like eating out sand paper
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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