yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Someone shattered a urinal.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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