Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
there's paper in my vomit.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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