apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
