Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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