There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
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