we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
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Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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