I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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