he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Everything about him screamed your future.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
