That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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