Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
