I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize