I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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