Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
