I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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