yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have tasted many bathrooms
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
