So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize