once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
